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Witty Wedding Speeches Speech Samples
There are hundreds of remarks like these in the Directory of Humour.
I said to Karen the other day, “ That’s the third time I’ve had to replace the clutch.”
She said, “ Don’t look at me, I never use it.”
We call him the exorcist in our house. Every time he comes around, he rids us of all our spirits.
He was a bit of a tearaway in his teens and ended up with a shocking Police record;
‘Walking on the Moon. '
I heard him asking the assistant in the wine shop, if she could recommend a breakfast wine.
In many ways Chris has been like a son to me; Insolent, ungrateful and disrespectful.
Rob has spent a fortune over the years, some on women, some on drink and the rest he spent foolishly.
She joined Gourmet magazine, but a few months later they tried to buy back her subscription.
She is so successful at shopping, ‘Next’ recently applied for planning permission; To open a branch in their living room.
I think the main reason for Pete’s lack of luck with the ladies is his chat up line, “I suffer from amnesia; Do I come here often?”
He once applied to join a lonely-
Jon loves music so much, if he heard Kylie Minogue singing in the bath, it would be his ear he put to the keyhole.
Her driving is so bad, the RSPCA have taken her nodding dog into protective custody.
He’s so short, he’s the only man I know whose feet appear on his passport photograph.
The only time we have ever had cross words, was when she said, "What is on the TV"?; And I said, "Dust.”
Not many of you will know this but # was actually decorated for saving the lives of the entire regiment; He shot the cook.
# nearly didn't make it to the wedding today, because of a minor operation; to have the TV remote control removed from his hand.
He backed a horse at twenty to one. Unfortunately it came in at twenty past four.
He has washed his Kilt and can’t do a fling with it.
He is in a very quiet ten-
